


Stay Strong

by LamiasLuck



Series: Timid Speech [10]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Referenced Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 13:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21640480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LamiasLuck/pseuds/LamiasLuck
Summary: Most people think of the Host's and Eric's relationship as an enigma. The Host was so cold, after all. How could a man like that end up with an emotional man like Eric? Truth be told, the Host did keep a certain personality on display. The last thing he'd want is for someone to underestimate him and take him for granted. At least, that's what he told himself. At his core, he's afraid. He shouldn't bother people with his problems, especially his boyfriend.So what happens when the Host experiences a nightmare that leaves him no choice but to panic? He's frantic, the images playing through his mind like a movie. Perhaps it would finally be time to admit his trouble to Eric, who only wants the best for him.
Relationships: Eric Derekson/The Host
Series: Timid Speech [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1392571
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Stay Strong

People sometimes wonder how Eric was dating the Host. They never said that out loud, but Eric always noticed their questioning looks whether he said so. 

_ “The Host? Dating someone like that?” _

_ “I’ve never seen that guy smile, let alone love someone.” _

_ “Eric’s alright, right? Host better be taking care of him.” _

Eric and the Host never spoke about that fact, even if they both noticed. They loved each other despite the non informed sceptics so they didn’t mind. Besides, they couldn’t be more wrong about the Host. 

Every night plagued by nightmares, interrupted by tearful gasps and freighted shivers… The Host was always there by Eric’s side. That same man that people thought of as cold and stoic, was the same man that knew all the right words to say. He was the same man made time for him, always being the doting boyfriend no one expected him to be. 

Of course, there were times where the Host wasn’t there. However, those were the times ---the very rare times--- where he needed Eric the most.

The bed was cold when Eric slowly blinked awake, only to find the Host not beside him. Confusion filled his mind at the sight. Then, a quiet sound from the bathroom interrupted the otherwise silent night. A muffled sob. Eric snapped awake at the sound, getting his glasses and making his way to the bathroom. He flicked on the light and there was the Host, crouched over the sink and crying. 

“H-Host…? Host, oh my god - what happened?” Eric furrowed his brows and placed a hand on the other’s back. The Host flinched violently at the contact, backing away while still breathing heavily. “What - What happened? Host, are-”

“Sorry,” the Host interrupted. He let out another broken sob as he cowered in a corner. “The Host is so sorry…” His voice cracked pathetically. His bandages were cast aside in the sink, leaving his face bare in his frantic state. He began to pull at his hair, shaking his head as he remembered the images from his nightmare.

_ The forest was cold, pitch black as he walked through. He doesn’t remember how he got there, but he knew where he was. In the distance, there was a figure always a few steps ahead of him, taunting him. He knew who that was too. _

“Eric… The - The Host didn’t… he’s sorry.” This time, he didn’t back away when Eric stepped closer. Gentle hands pulled his away from his hair.

“It’s okay.” Eric swallowed harshly. A few tears pricked at his eyes as he saw his boyfriend in such a state. He held the other’s hands tightly. “It - It’s okay! Nothing’s wrong, I-I’m right here.”

The Host returned the gesture with a weak grip. “He doesn’t understand…”

_ Dead bodies. There were so many bodies laying across the forest floor like twisted decor. Each face twisted in permanent fear. All staring at him. _

_ “Don’t you remember them?” The figure’s voice echoed in his head. _

_ He did remember. _

Nightmares were a rare event for the Host. At least, that was what Eric thought. What he didn’t know was that the Host made sure to isolate himself whenever they happened. He didn’t want to drag Eric into this. He couldn’t. However, this one hit too close to home, he had no choice but to break down. 

The feeling of Eric’s hands against his own felt abnormal, though it was something they did time and time again. Eric’s hands were warm, full of life and clammy with worry. That was definitely the jarring part of this. Eric was alive, but minutes ago ---in his nightmare--- he was anything but.

_ “You did this,” the figure laughed. “It was so fun, watching them crumble beneath you.” _

_ He shook his head. That wasn’t him, not anymore. The forest’s air became colder, nearly impossible to breath. They kept staring at him. He could remember every name. _

_ “They were all excellent stories, weren’t they?” _

_ He remembered every story. _

His nightmares always felt so real. Sometimes they reminded him of stories from his past, sometimes they showed stories that he prayed would never come true. Tonight was a mix of both. 

_ He broke out in a full blown sprint after the figure. Passing the looming trees, passing the plethora of bodies. Yet, he could never catch up. The cold air stung as it hit his face, but he kept running. Running, running, running… _

_ “All you do is run from everything…” the figure sighed. “Pathetic.” _

_ The gazes began to follow his trail. Their eyes fixated on his form, on their killer. _

_ Next thing he knew, the figure stopped running. So did he. _

_ The figure stood before one final body. _

“Host…? Ca-Can you hear me?” Eric squeezed his hands tighter. There was no sensible reaction from the other. 

“The Host apologizes,” he muttered again, letting go of Eric’s hands in favour of cupping his face. “He’s sorry…”

Eric stared for a moment. Without his bandages, the Host’s eye sockets were exposed to the cold air of the night. They bleed a steady stream of blood, flowing down his face right down to his neck. All while he kept muttering various apologies to a confused ear. 

A part of him knew that this was real life, and that Eric truly was in front of him. The rest of him questioned everything. This wasn’t the first time he thought he lost his lover.

_ The figure dissipated into smoke before he could catch him, letting out one final laugh as he was carried away in the wind. Which left him with the body, Eric’s body. Eric’s eyes were closed, looking almost peaceful in appearance, but he knew better. There was no response when he knelt beside Eric, same when he picked up his body and held him close. _

_ Eric felt so, so cold. _

“It’s okay,” Eric reassured. Perhaps his voice was too soft for the other, because the Host barely registered his voice. A slow, shaky hand moved from Eric face to the side of his neck. The Host applied pressure to where Eric’s neck met his jaw. Checking his pulse. 

_ There was nothing. He retracted his hand like it was burned. _

_ “Who did this…?” His voice was weak, body shuddering as he sobbed. _

_ That figure must have done this. How could he let this happen? All of a sudden he noticed that his hands were wet with blood. Laughter echoed throughout the air. _

_ “Do you want to know who did this?” He whipped his head every which way to look for the figure, but he was still alone. Narrations began to fall from his mouth without him realizing, describing scenes of cruelty and murder. His body felt like lead holding him in place. He shook his head frantically as he was forced to listen. _

_ No, no, no, no… he couldn’t have. _

_ Eric’s body twitched ever so slightly. Then, he cracked his eyes open and grabbed his wrist hard enough to bruise. With a voice that sounded abnormally gravely, Eric muttered the phrase he dreaded to hear. _

_ “You did this.” _

“Host…?”

The Host calmed down slightly when he felt his pulse. It was strong, unstopping. He pulled Eric into a tight hug, burying his head in his shoulder and shuddering. “The Host… he didn’t mean to,” he hiccuped through his words. “Eric - Eric was-”

“I’m right here. You didn’t do anything.” Eric hugged back, and tried his best to soothe the Host’s shaking form. For a while, the only sounds were the Host’s heavy breathing. With time he eventually calmed down, reality setting in. This was the real world, Eric was still alive.

Slowly, the Host lifted his head. He held the back of Eric’s head and kissed him deeply. It was desperate, their bodies pressed close together like he was afraid of losing him again. Eric could also faintly taste blood, with how much of it cascaded down the Host’s face, but he didn’t care. Once they parted, the Host shook his head.

“The Host apologizes for all this,” he muttered, voice somewhat steady now.

“It’s okay, I just want to help.”

“No, he shouldn’t have worried Eric like this." He backed away again, this time out of shame. "He doesn’t know what came over him, it… it felt so real.”

“It’s fine, Host,” Eric reassured. “Yo-You help me all the time. I… I wanna - I can help you too.” He put down the toilet seat and got the Host to sit on top of it. “I-I can clean your face. Just - just hold on.”

Blood was no issue to Eric. He has seen so much and was dating the Host, of course he didn’t care about blood at this point. He got a damp towel and cleaned up the wet and dried blood staining the other’s face. The Host had calmed down exponentially, though Eric noticed he couldn’t keep his hands off him. One hand rested on his waist, the other held the arm Eric was cleaning his face with.

“You can always talk to me about this. You - you know that, right?”

“The Host will just worry Eric.” He shook his head. “He can stay strong for his sake.”

“I’m not - I’m not dating you be-because you’re strong, I’m dating you for you. T-The only thing worrying me is… i-it’s you hiding this from me. I want to help you.” Once he finished wiping away the blood, he hugged the Host and ran his fingers through his hair. He heard the Host let out a relaxed sigh at the touch. “Please don’t hide like this.”

Guilt bloomed in his chest at Eric’s desperate tone. He was hurting him. If he continued to act like this then... he'd be no better than that _figure. _Practically melting in his embrace, he nodded. “He will try.” He tilted his head up and pulled Eric in another kiss, more chaste, but every bit caring. “The Host loves Eric.” Loving words were whispered against Eric’s lips as he continued to pepper him in kisses. 

Eric hummed contently, smiling and giggling more with each kiss. An attempt was all he asked for. He wasn't aware of how many nightmares he missed, but he wanted to make sure the Host wasn't alone for anymore. “I love you too.”

After the Host changed his bandages, the two of them cuddled up in bed once again. The Host pulled Eric close to his chest and rested his chin on top of his head. Eric quickly fell asleep, the steady beat of the Host’s heart lulling him to sleep like a lullaby. Even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, the Host stayed up for a moment longer. Eric felt warm in his arms, as calm as could be. _ As alive as could be. _While his nightmare had left him weak from fatigue, his heart to heart left him stronger than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> This was gonna be a drabble then something happened and I hurt Host much more than I intended to. The dream sequences were just so fun to write what can I say? Sorry for the angst, but I’ve written so much soft it was only a matter of time. This was a request but I feel like I deviated from the original prompt ;^; Also it's Eric birthday and i post this. Not intentional but a funny coincidence
> 
> Tumblr: https://lamiasluck.tumblr.com


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